Wednesday, September 29, 2010

True Advice

You can persist in being right, or you can have relationships.

I've got a lot to learn in this department.  I tend to err on the side of truth, justice and the American way.  I need to learn to hold back a bit.  

Any advice?

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Famous Seconds

Watch closely and you'll see Tara, Jacob, and Erik for about 3 seconds of their allotted 15 minutes of lifetime fame:

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I Agree

To most Christians the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I Agree".

Tony Derricott

Monday, September 13, 2010

Big Picture

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.”
- Marilyn vos Savant

Peter Gabriel ( and R.E.M. ( sang it well.  I'm feeling fine but someone out there might need a reminder.  I might even need to refer back here someday.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Punny Stuff!

You might groan.  But this is my kind of humor...

  1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
  12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
  14. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  15. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  16. A backward poet writes inverse.
  17. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
  18. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .
  19. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
  20. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
  21. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
  22. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
To cushion my odds I shared more than twice the ten mentioned.  Did any pun in 22 make you laugh?