Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Inoperable Tendencies

I found out today that my dad has inoperable cancer.  I'm already dealing with my mom's failing health due to a stroke she suffered a few months ago.  The word "inoperable" seems to strike me from both meanings:


1. Not functioning; inoperative.
As in: It is difficult for me to function with the weight of this news on my mind.
2. Unsuitable for a surgical procedure
As in: I know that no operation on either Dad or Mom is going to help.

I poked around on the Internet looking for resources that could help me learn more.  While this booklet I found was meant for teens I found a lot of the information in it helpful.  I'm posting a link to it here as much for me to refer back to as to share with others:

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/When-Your-Parent-Has-Cancer-Guide-for-Teens/PDF

There are also a number of thoughts I came upon at http://homeinsteaders.org/category/death/ that inspire me.  One of my favorites at this moment is:


“Death is more universal than life;
everyone dies but not everyone lives.”
~ A. Sachs

So, I find myself thinking that -- while I know everything happens for a reason -- I need a few crutches like those mentioned above to get me through this time.


4 comments:

Scott M said...

sympathies, Tony. I don't have any words, just feelings of grief.

Evalynn said...

Thank you for sharing, Tony. There is an old book that helped me with my mom's passing, "The Birth that We Call Death." It was written in 1976 by Paul Dunn and Richard Eyre. If you can't find it, and you'd like to read it, I will send you my copy. One of my favorite quotes from the book is: Don't try to fight the sorrow you feel. The only way to take the sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.

Unknown said...

Thanks for the suggestion, Kim. It was as easy as copy/paste to the college library site. They'll be delivering the book later today.

Anonymous said...

Tony, several people here in the ward have asked how you are holding up and send their love. I sure get a lot of comments from different ones who have received birthday greetings from you and it makes them happy. Love & prayers from home. Hugs.